Happy Inauguration Day!

It's a great day today! The weather is beautiful (in the 60's) and we a have a new President. I didn't get to see the inauguration, but it is such a great feeling to know that change is on it's way. I just hope that people don't expect things to happen right away. Just have faith that it WILL happen.

In other news, a lot has been happening on my end. You may have noticed that I did another blog redesign. I need to make a new title screen still, but that will come in due time.

I got my engagement ring last week. Kind of a funny story. I was sitting at work reading the Denver Post and I see an article that my jewler had filed for brankruptcy protection. I literally screamed "NOOOOOO" and called up Pete. We both decided that it would be better to get the ring out of the store than to keep paying for it in installments....just in case. So now I have my beautiful ring on my finger!

I also went and found my wedding dress. It's funny, because it is actually everything I said I didn't want, but when I had it on....it was perfect. I did try on the two dresses I linked back to before, but neither of them looked all that great on me. I didn't even have this particular dress in the dressing room, but my consultant, Dea, (who is fricken awesome by the way) said she had the perfect dress.....and she was right. It's a Casablanca design and it's **gasp** strapless!!! I think though that it is the first strapless dress I have ever tried on that didn't make my shoulders look super broad. I wanted to send a link to a picture of the dress, but the website doesn't appear to be working right now.....hopefully that is not a bad sign :-( I'm actually going to be heading down to the bridal shop in a few weeks to put money down on it. They let you make monthly payments until it is half paid for and then they will order it for you.

Pete and I just celebrated our one year anniversary yesterday. He got me a gift certificate for a massage (1 1/2 hours!) that I am so excited to use!! I have never had a professional massage before, and being rather large chested means I have a knot field in my back! I got him tickets to go see the Reverand Horton Heat on the 30th. I have been to see him twice now since I moved to Colorado, bur poor Pete has lived here his whole life and has never been to a show. So he is super excited to get to go finally!

Well, I think I have just about gotten caught up here. I will definitely try to update more often.

We've picked out the ring!

I meant to post this last week, but as the title suggests, Pete and I have picked out my engagement ring!! It all happened by accident really. We went out one morning for breakfast and decided we wanted to go to a movie. So we decided rather than go home and wait around for a few hours we would go to the mall and walk around. So we did that and quickly got bored. Then we decided we were going to go to the shops that were near the theater and just wander until it was time for the movie. As we got in the car to leave an ad came on the radio for The Shane Co. So I said, why don't we just go there and wander a bit. Not really planning on buying anything, but just seeing what was out there. So we ended up going through all the cases and found an absolutely beautiful band. Its 14 karat white gold and has diamonds on the band (a little over 1/3 carat) So at this particular store, you pick your band and then you pick your diamond. The lady who was helping us brought out 3 diamonds of various grades. The first was .70 Carat VVS1 (barely any visible flaws) and the color was and e or f. It was pretty, but nothing special. The next was .83 Carat SI1(a few visble flaws) and a G in color. The flaws you could see were in very visible places. The last diamond was a .99 Carat I1 (flaws visible to teh naked eye) and an H in color. The "flaw" that was visible to the naked eye was that when cutting the diamond they put an extra facet in one corner. It even took the lady there forever to find the actual flaw. And the bonus was that even though it was the worst diamond "on paper" It sparkled the most was absolutely gorgeous and cost less than the smallest diamond we looked at. So even though we weren't planning on buying, Pete ended up putting the ring on layaway. He says that I can get it for keeps after Christmas. I really can't wait to get it. It will really make all of this seem more "real"

Goin to the Chapel.....

.....and I'm gonna get maaaaaarrrriiieeeeddddd!!! Yes, it is official that Pete and I are engaged!! We have been talking about it quite a bit and he asked me a few weeks ago. It's a cute story really. He woke me up out of a sound sleep to ask me and then the next morning I had to ask him if I was just dreaming or if he really asked me to marry him....definitely one to put in the story books. I went out ring shopping and have picked out the most beautiful ring ever! I can't wait until he actually gives it to me (which hopefully will be soon)

Since we had been talking about getting married we already had most of our plans for the wedding hashed out. For those of you who don't know here are the details. We have picked a date of 7-3-2010, pending site availability. We will be getting married in NY in the Thousand Islands (www.singercastle.com) again pending availability. We will be doing a 1940's themed wedding. I found a pattern online for a wedding dress from the '40's and I have already met with a dressmaker to have this dress recreated and custom fit for me. I am so excited about it!! I would post a picture of it, but I don't want Pete to see it until I walk down that aisle. I also have tentative bridesmaid dresses picked out (again, they will probably have to be made, just working out pricing issues now).

We told his family about the engagement over the weekend and it seems like they couldn't be happier. I called my family yesterday and spilled the news and they are overjoyed. My dad actually said that "Pete is the first guy you have brought home that I haven't wanted to kill" So I take that as a good sign :-)

So anyway, I will be updating with more details as time goes on.

I'm Still Alive!!

Ok, so I know I haven't posted since we left for NY (obviously) so yes, we made it, and yes, it was a blast!! We rented ourselves a nice SUV this time around and let me tell you, the car makes the difference! It was so much easier to spend two days in that car as opposed to in my poor cramped Jetta. So the wedding was awesome. I still can't believe that my little brother is married! And can I just say that I absolutely LOVE going down to sea level after living in the mountains? I swear, the day of the wedding I drank at least 3 beers and a good 4 gin and tonics (which were not small) and I was still able to stand on two feet. I didn't even really feel like I was drunk. I was able to pull of the peach dress, much to my surprise. I didn't think that it would be my color, but I got several compliments on it, so I guess I did ok. HAHA. Maybe they were all just being nice.

I took Pete to Niagara Falls for his first time ever. We actually went for a hike in the Niagara Gorge one day and went to the Falls the day after the wedding. The Gorge absolutely killed me though. It's a good 50 foot drop down natural stone steps. Then there are "trails" that lead down to the river. We had the dog with us, and thoroughly tired her out. We ended up taking one of the sketchy trails down to the river where I proceeded to fall on my ass giving myself a nice gouge and bruise. It was totally worth it though. We hiked over to a rock and sat in the sun for a little bit watching the rapids. So beautiful. When we went to the Falls we decided to go into Canada. So we parked over in the State Park and walked over the Rainbow Bridge into Canada. Pete smuggled a knife into the country. It was a funny story though because we didn't mean to do it. For any of you who know Pete, you know that he always has his knife on him. Well I didn't even think to tell him to take it off. So we are at the Canadian border and the guard there asks if we have any weapons to which I automatically say "No". Then after I say it, it dawns on me that he more than likely has his knife. The guard lets us through and after we get a good way down the path I say under my breath "you have your knife on you, don't you?" Sure enough there it was. So he just unclipped it from his pocket and stuck it all the way in so no one would notice it. So when it was time to go back to the US I tell him not to say anything about the knife unless they ask. So when the guard asks if we have anything to declare I can see him starting to say something about the knife, so I cut him off and say "No". The guard looks suspicious at this and says "So you didn't buy anything when you were in Canada?" Again I say "No" and he lets us through. After we got through I just started laughing because he almost let it slip and that wasn't even what the guard was asking.

I finally have my babies back and that has been going well so far. The dog has been really good. I was worried about her being able to poop while on a leash, but so far we haven't had any problems.

The diet is going well. We cheated really bad when we were on vacation, but were able to get back on track when we got home. I am back down to where I was before I left for NY, so the pounds are still coming off. I am hoping to be down to my goal weight by New Years, or at the very least within 5 pounds of it.

Other than that, I do have some other news to share, but that will be in a different post at a different time......

Nothing like a good cliffhanger, eh?

So Many Things...So Little Time.....

So life has been crazy. How could I expect it not to be. As most of you know Pete and I are going to be driving out to NY in a few weeks, both for my little bro's wedding and to get my dog and cats to bring them home. A large chunk of how we were going to afford this trip was using President Bush's oh so fabulous Stimulus Payment of $600. So I get my letter stating that my check is on its way and, yes, I am getting the full $600. Cue in a few weeks later and I get a letter from the IRS stating that they have taken my check and applied it to the tax bill I owed from 2007, oh and I still owe them $70. Let me take you back a few months to when I got my w-2 form from one of my past part-time employers. I open it up to find that they only took out like $100 in the 6months that I worked there. Now I don't know who screwed that up....me or them, but I was not happy to find that I now owe the Feds $655 in back taxes. So I go all the normal routes, file my return, with a payment plan proposal in order to pay back the money, which they accepted. I then receive a bill for $105, which I though was my first payment in the payment plan. OH NO!! When I receive the bill for the final $70 dollars I call up our wonderful IRS system (which by the way is next to impossible to get to a live person.....automated systems do NOT make things more simple Corporate America!!! It just pisses us off, so when we get to a real person, we are not as nice as we should be!!!) So, anyway, I call them up and get a live person and say Hey, I paid you all $105, you took my $600, how do I still owe you $70 when my original tax bill was only $655?" Oh get ready for this....they charged me $105 to SET UP MY MONTHLY PAYMENT ACCOUNT!!!!! WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Are you KIDDING me?!?!?!?! Which, by the way, is an account I won't need to be using, since they took away my stimulus check. But can I get it back? NO, cause they are crooks!! And, now, I am not going to have NEAR enough money to get to NY for my brother's wedding. It will definitely be a tight squeeze. I am actually having to have no taxes taken out of my next few paychecks just so I can get bills in order and have enough to get there. So YAY!! I'll get to owe them again! Gotta love how our society works. Only in America do we charge poor people for being poor. Take car insurance. Most don't know this, but insurance companies use your credit to determine your rates. And guess what...if you have bad credit, you pay more for car insurance. Like, ok, I don't make enough money as it is, which is why I have bad credit in the first place, so let's jack up the prices so I can't afford even more things, making my credit even worse. And with the prices of everything going up, the problem is just going to get worse. I just don't get the rationaled that people with good credit are better drivers. And what does my credit have to do with insurance? If I don't pay my bill, then I don't have insurance. If I crash my car without insurance, that affects only me, not the insurance companies. Look at all the rich celebrities and whatnot, with DWI/DUI up the wazoo. But I'll bet they pay less in car insurance than I do, cause they have money. When is our society going to wake up and realize that they way we are running things isn't working??

Ok, enough on that tangent. Happier things coming up....

Tomorrow, Pete and I celebrate 6 months together!! We are going to Water World to celebrate and I cannot tell you how excited I am to go!! I haven't been to a Water Park in AGES!! and I love them!!! We both have been giddy about this all week. And the bonus is....his mom got us the tickets as a gift, so we only have to pay for stuff on the inside if we want it. We are going to be bringing in a cooler so we can just save money on things like drinks and whatnot.

Tomorrow Pete will also be testing for Denver PD. I'm really hoping that this is it for him. He has some really good prospects both there and in Aurora (I hooked him up with one of my clients who is a detective, so now he has a really good reference there) He also has an interview with Jefferson County Sherrifs Dept, but he will only take that one if he doesn't get Denver or Aurora. Things are really starting to look up for him in respects to his career. Keep your fingers crossed that he gets what he wants.

Hmmm...what else....not sure if I have written about this, but our apartment is a hole. We are still without a dishwasher. It's been about 3 weeks or so since our dishwasher sparyed some unknown disgusting smelly sludge all over our dishes. We are supposedly getting a new one, but they are waiting for "a part" because apparantly the new dishwasher comes in two pieces?? Does anyone else smell something?? Oh and it's been over 2 months since the cable guy broke my bedroom door, over a month since he paid for it, and I still have a broken bedroom door. So, we are stuck in this place until next July, but we will definitely be moving to a nicer place when our lease is up. We were thinking of a nice townhome, but we'll see what's out there.

I think that is about it, like I said.....it's been crazy.......

Updates Updates Update

It's been a little while since my last post. Sorry!! Well, as I said before, Pete and I have moved in together and things are going perfectly so far. We've been a little slack in getting things unpacked and getting the apartment to where it looks like we live there and not just using it as a storage locker, but we'll get there. :-) We've come up with a great plan to get all of our debt paid off too. I think that I can hack most of mine out by the end of the year. Once I get my credit cards paid off I will only have the car payment and my student loan. I'm thinking about doubling up those payments once I get the cards paid off, but we'll see where the finances are. Once we get all that paid off we are going to start saving to buy (or possibly build) a new house. I figure if we can get enough saved up for a nice piece of land and a good chunk of the building costs, we will be sitting pretty. I, personally, would prefer to build because we have such specific things we want our house to have. I want to have a good kitchen (for once in my life!!), he wants a martial arts room. I'd also like to have a game room (with a pool table, fooseball, etc.) So anyway, we figure in about 5-7 years we can probably have enough saved up for that. Luckily our bills aren't too much, and with our salaries combined we have that much more to work with. I'm still tossing around the idea of a second job that I can use to specifically save up for the big things, but I am not sure if I want the stress of that yet. We shall see. It's been nice only having to work 8 hours in a day and have two days off a week. It's been so long since I have been able to say that!!

Pete has been bringing up the future alot lately as well. I woke up one morning last week to a text message that said "I'm going to marry you" It absolutely made my heart melt when I read it. He's also been bringing up making a family together. He's even named our first son already :-) Well, we both did, but he brought it up first (I swear!!!) He wants to name him after his brother (Gabriel) and I want to use my grandpas first name as his middle (Pasquale) Now I know Pasquale is not a very common name, but it actually flows really well together, especially with his last name. So, now we just need to make sure we have a boy!! I think we may be screwed if we ever have a girl, cause I have no idea what we would name her!! Anyway, I think I am getting a bit ahead of myself here. It's just so nice to be able to talk about the future and know that the person I am with has the same feelings and outlook as me. I have spent way to many years of my life with guys who say they don't want to get married or they don't want kids and me thinking I can change that. I'm glad to finally be with someone who wants all the same things as me. It's the best feeling in the world.

We are getting ready for our drive back out to NY in August. I still can't believe that my little brother is getting married!!! I should be getting my dress for that this week and I am praying that it fits. I am nervous because I had to order it over the phone, so I have no idea how it is going to fit. Well, if worst come to worse I will just have to have it altered and hope for the best. My other concern is that it is strapless and I am going to have a hell of a time find a bra that is going to fit my knockers!! I'm also getting excited about this trip because it means that I can get my babies back!! I have missed them so much these last few months. When my dad or my brother tell me stories about things they have done I just start crying because I feel so bad that I don't have them with me. So, less than two months to go and I will have them back with me!! I'm hoping they don't punish me too badly for leaving them so long. I know my dog tends to hold a grudge. She was pretty unruly for my brother for about a month after I dropped her off with him.

Ok, so I think I have made this long enough. Those are my updates for now. Maybe I'll brave posting pics of me in the dress when I get it.

It's official!!

So, after deciding that we are going to move in together after a year (Jan '09), AND after moving some of his stuff to Lakewood, Pete starts mentioning about how he wished that he were just moving in with me, how it is stupid for him to be paying rent at a place he is never going to use, etc. So, on Sunday, he says, if you still want me to I want to move in. Of course I said YES!! I am over the moon about this. Even though we have only been together for 5 months, we have already been through so much together. And seriously, it's like we were living together already since I moved into my apartment, he has spent every night there. I think that had a lot to do with him changing his mind. He's been so cute lately. He will randomly turn to me and say "You know I'm going to marry you, right?" It just melts my heart to hear that and I get all giddy. Now if only I can get him to turn off the lights before he leaves the house.......

Another Year Down

As most of you know it was my 29th birthday yesterday. All in all I had a great day. I went to work as usual and just did my thing there. Right before 5 Pete showed up with flowers in hand which I though was very sweet. We went back to my place and he gave me my present which was 2 books I had been wanting. One is a huge compilation of pulp fiction from the 20s 30s and 40s. I am so excited to get started on that one!! The other one is a book filled with all the hiking trails in Colorado which you can take your dog on. I can not wait to try them out once Inigo gets here in August! After present time we went to dinner. If you have never had Ethiopian food before, I HIGHLY recommend it. It was so frickin good!!! I'l have to admit that I was a bit wary at first, but it was definitely a great meal. One of the best I have had in a long time, and it seemed to be relatively healthy too. I felt like I ate a substantive meal, but I didn't feel weighed down by it. I will definitely be going back there. After dinner we went to Borders and just bummed around for a bit. I ended up buying myself another book. It was one of the "Get Fuzzy" comic strip compilation books. To repeat myself (kinda), if you haven't read "Get Fuzzy" I HIGHLY reccommend it. Very funny stuff. So after Borders we went and saw "Baby Mama". That was definitely a good flick. The actors were great in it (Steve Martin was awesome) and the story line was good too. I know that Pete hadn't been too keen on going to see the "chick flick", but he was laughing all the way through it and admitted that it was a great movie. So, I had a great birthday. The best part of it all was spending it with the man I love.

Click the strip to get the whole thing, I'm not sure how to resize this.

Land of Confusion

A few days ago I wrote about my bittersweet take on the holidays. It now seems like it is more bitter than sweet in light of recent events. I feel like my future is gone now, as well as my past. I guess I should clarify. I feel like the future I thought I was going to have with Todd is gone. Actually, I know it's gone. I know that there is another plan out there for me, I just wish someone would enlighten me as to what it is.

I've pretty much decided that I just don't care anymore. I guess I'm getting used to the fact that I just may not ever meet "Mr. Right". In the immortal words of Cameron Diaz in "The Sweetest Thing", "...just look for Mr. Right now..." And maybe that's what I need to do. I need to stop putting so much stock into these guys I meet. I need to just take things one day at a time, and not fall for all the bullshit lines they give me. I guess I need to learn to be a cynical dater. I trust way too quickly and easily. I guess you could call me gullible. Maybe I am. I've always been the type of person who will trust you unconditionally until I am given a reason not to. Of course, once that reason surfaces, then I am done with you. I'm thinking that maybe I need to start by not trusting people. I really don't know if that's the best route to go either. I guess it just goes back to the old "Damned if you do, damned if you don't".

I'm still trying to decide what I want to do with my life. I'm debating a few options right now. Still tossing around the idea of going to Denver. I just don't think I can do it though. Even though the money would be better, I have never lived in a big city before. I really like the slower pace of small town life. On the other hand, maybe the hustle and bustle of the city is what I need. I really just don't know what I want. I do still have a few months to figure it out I suppose.

I've put my dating profiles back online again. Not sure if I want to get into something right now, but I figured what the heck. I don't get out very often what with working two jobs, so it's pretty much my only avenue to get to know people. There have been a few people on there who have piqued my interest, but we'll see.

I know some of you are thinking 'but wait, Todd and she just broke up a few days ago' To further enlighten the situation let me say this. Yes, we just broke up on Tuesday, however, I have not seen the man in over a month. I hadn't even talked to him in almost a week. Yes, I was getting ready to move out to be with him. Yes, we had talked about getting married. In a way, I think the distance is what was fueling all of that. Our relationship was hot, heavy, and short-lived. I believe the distance is what contributed to it ending as well, although I will never really know for sure what his reasons were. I know that ultimately he wasn't the man for me, otherwise we would still be together. So rather than wallow in misery over something that isn't meant to be, I am ready to move forward with my life. Hopefully a little wiser.

I've been a bad bad girl.....

Sorry sorry sorry!! I know I haven't updated here in a while. Life has been just a bit crazy lately. I have been working a lot at my second job. Now that it's the Christmas season, things have been picking up there, which is good. Things have been pretty crazy at my first job as well. Colorodao legislature decided to be "nice" and change the law regarding auto insurance, so we have been having to call all of our clients and explain the law to them. It's pretty fun considering the majority of our clients are either elderly or Mexican who don't speak English. Like talking to a brick wall sometimes.

Todd came out to visit a few weeks ago. Unfortunately he got into a really bad car accident 2 days before he was to come out. Some lady who was whacked out on meds was driving (when she shouldn't have been) ran a redc light and T-boned his truck. After she hit him he went off the road and hit a phone pole and sheared that completely off at the base. His truck got completely totaled, but luckily he go out of it with only a broken ass. :-) While he was at the hospital he picked up some sort of flu bug or something. He ended up being sick on my couch for a good chunk of his stay.

And luckily for me, he passed it on!! WOO HOO. I spent the entire night after he left on my toilet puking my guts out....amongst other things. Oh the kicker of it all? I was sitting on the couch and I "farted" (read sharted). Yes, folks, this grown woman, pooped her pants!! It was the grossest thing ever. I was just sitting there, then was like ooh.....that one felt wet! That's cause it was!!!! Aren't you all so glad I shared? LOL!!! I thought I had all the bases covered with that too. I know from past experiences that when I am sick and throwing up, that I need a bucket for the puke and the toilet for the poop that inevitably comes out. Never thought I'd be hit with a sneak attack!

So needless to say, I did not go to work on the following Monday. I get a call from work that morning and they say "well we wanted to call and make sure you are really sick, cause since this is the week of a holiday, you aren't going to get paid any holiday pay" Well, I wasn't about to poop my pants on my office chair too, so I decided to stay home. When I got back to work, I asked my boss if there was anyway he could stretch the time I missed over the next 3 pay periods (I am losing 3 1/2 days of pay). He said he would think about it. I find out today that, no, he's not going to do that. So now I can't pay my rent this month. Anyone have a cardboard box I can borrow?? I also need to come up with $200 to pay Inigo's fine this week. When it rains it pours eh? I talked to my brother, more to bitch about it than anything, but I think he is going to try to help me out so I can at least pay rent. We'll see though.

Thanksgiving was great. I went over to my friend Kim's house (since I have no family here and neither does she) We had Drunken Chicken (which for those of you who don't know, is a full roasting chicken, you put a can of beer up it's "butt" and put it on the grill.) It was soo good. Then we has the usual Thanksgiving fixins (mashed potatoes, green been casserole and rolls). All in all it was a fun time.

Let's see.....what else? Talked to Todd last night and he got an e-mail about a new job. I'm not so sure what I think about it all yet though. The few options that he would have would be to go to Iraq for a year and work, or he could be transferred anywhere in the world or the States. If he goes to Iraq, he would be making about 180K, most of which would be tax free. This is the option that he really wants to do, but I just worry about him being there what with everything that is going on. Some of the other places he mentioned that he could get transferred to would be Hawaii (real bummed about that one!) or England. Both places would be awesome to live in. The only thing that concerns me with moving abroad is that he and I would definitely have to get married or I wouldn't be able to work, or possibly even be able to move there. I'm not sure if he realizes that. I went through all of this when my ex was working in Toronto. It was near impossible for me to live there if I wasn't married to him. Hence, why I never moved there.

Anyway, I think that I have written a novel here, so I am off. I promise I will try to update more often.

Is My Luck Turning?

So, as I have mentioned before, I have started a new part-time job. I have been there for just over a week now, and I love it. The other day, my supervisor pulls me aside and asks me how much I am making at my full-time job. So I tell her. She goes on to tell me that in the next few days there is going to be a posting going up for a supervisor position and that I need to post for it. The best part of it is that I will be making enough money in this new job that I would not need to work 2 jobs anymore!! So, now I am constantly checking to see if the posting is up yet. I want to be the first person bidding on this job!! Hopefully with all of my prior management experience I have a great shot at it. My supervisor seems to think so, and I know she is pulling for me to get it.

In other news, Todd will be out here in a week! I haven't seen him since September, so I am really excited to see him again! I was able to wrangle some days off too, so we will have a lot of time to spend together this time. I really think that we need it.

WWCD?

I've been thinking about it. More like fantasizing that Todd is going come to his senses, tell me he made a mistake and he wants to get back together. The more I think about it though, the more I doubt it is going to happen. I have been posing myself with the question "what would I do if he does want me back?" I've been thinking long and hard about this, and even though I love him, I don't know that I would go back to him. I don't know if I can deal with the pain everytime he gets spooked about something in our relationship and decides he needs to break up with me. I deserve better than that, I know I do. But then I think about how good he was too me, how sweet he is and I find myself stuggling with that decision. So I guess I am back to square one. Ultimately I know that I will be better off just keeping it as friends with him. And maybe down the road when he matures (and maybe me too...who knows) then we might stand a chance. But I'm not going to sit around and wait for that to happen. I'm gonna go out and live my life to the fullest, and if I meet someone else, then so be it. I won't be actively looking for a while, but if something comes along, I'm not gonna pass up the opportunity based on a what if. Just as I told Todd, you can't base your life on what if's. I'm going to take my own advice and fly by the seat of my pants......

WTF!?!?!?!?!

So my dreams have been crushed, yet again. Last night I was talking to my boyfriend online and he started going on about something that has been bothering him. He tells me that he loves me, I am the best thing that ever happened to him, he really thinks that I may be the one......but he needs to break up with me because some day he "might" hurt me! What?!?!? Can someone explain this to me? He has been seriously fucked with in the past by another woman, and I know that has a lot to do with this, but as I told him, you can't let your past dictate your future. I am just so blown away by this. I'm hoping that he changes his mind, but I have a feeling that he won't and that just hurts me so bad. So now I'm wondering what other shit can happen to me. Honestly, I just want to know what is wrong with me? Why is it that when everything is going great something always happens? I swear I am just going to give up. I feel like my dreams of getting married and having a family are never going to happen. I wish so much that wasn't the case, but the farther I go in life, the more I realize it's just probably never going to happen....and it sucks.

All I Can Do Is Grin

I have perma-grin!!!!! This weekend could not have gone any better! When I picked Todd up from the airport I just knew. This is the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with. It was instant connection. I have never felt this way about anyone...ever! We had a blast. I didn't want the weekend to end. I feel like I can't even put into words the way that I feel right now. He is coming back in a few weeks, and I feel like it can't come soon enough.

Aren't we just adorable? :-D